An Update

It's been nearly four months since I last posted on here. I've been busy.
I got a gym membership, first and foremost. I wasn't sure exactly how beneficial it would be, but in the end it was probably the best £80 I've ever spent. In the 3 months I had left living in Manchester I went to the gym nearly 60 times, and on days that I didn't go I went running in the park instead. It became an obsession, the healthiest obsession, and it kept me sane throughout my exam period.

My diet was not as easily transformed. I struggled with my motivation, and despite filling the fridge with healthy food I somehow always managed to find myself eating things I shouldn't. I put it down to the stress of revision and allowed myself some time to ease into it. Since coming home for the summer, it has been much easier and I've just managed a week and a half without a single slip up, my longest so far. I'm hoping now to last even longer until I slip again.

I feel like I should mention here the website Fitocracy, that I joined in April. The game style and the social aspect really kicked my motivation into gear, and without it I truly think I would have given up by now.

In general though, the difference I feel is incredible. I have ten times as much energy, I've lost pounds and gained visible definition, and I'm physically a whole lot stronger than I've ever been. I've never, ever felt as good about myself and I refuse to ever let that go!

The First Step is the Hardest?

So today marks the end of my first week of my 'organised' healthier lifestyle. And by that, I mean that I got a reward jar.
I saw a blog post that recommended, for financially minded people, setting yourself a reward system rather than relying on simple motivation to keep you heading towards to your goals. I figured that was pretty much exactly what I needed, so last Saturday I made a short list of things I wanted to turn into habit (going to classes, walking to uni, making healthy lunches) and gave myself a small reward amount for each one.
I really feel like, for me, no motivation is better than knowing I'm saving money and getting healthier too. I really think (hope?) that this might be an idea I actually stick to.
I even went jogging this morning.
I lasted fifteen minutes.
But it was a start.

I don't know if the cliché is true, but I'd like to hope that it will get easier from here.
I don't think it will, but maybe I'll keep going anyway.

Women's Health

This time last year I submitted my final piece of Language coursework: a Very Angry essay about the immense differences between magazines geared towards men and women. Specifically, I argued that Men’s Health was everything I wanted in a magazine.
“It’s aspirational!” I wrote. “It focuses on fitness, not on weight loss!” I yelled. “Why don’t we get something like this?” I ranted, Very Angrily.
It seems somebody heard my complaints, because today I spotted, nestled between the magazines I had got such high marks for vilifying, was a launch issue of Women’s Health.
I bought it. Obviously.
I walked back from the store, wondering. Not daring to hope. Somehow knowing that what I held in my hands was not quite as good as its male counterpart.

And I was right.
But I was also, to be fair, wrong.

I didn’t read Women’s Health with a horrified look on my face (Ok! and Look make me cry when I dare to read them), but I didn’t exactly yearn to take out a subscription.

The articles are a mixture, focusing on both weight loss and fitness. They perhaps lean more towards weight loss, but this is also why the majority of women take up exercise, so I don’t think I can really complain about this. On top of this, the diet and workout tips were realistic for normal women, something that other magazines have always, always lacked.It also contains pieces on coping with stress and relationships that were not at all patronising or ridiculous, and the sex tips didn’t even make me cringe!

On the other hand, not a single model in the whole thing is bigger than, what, a size six? Average women can be fit too you know, how’s about they get some coverage in your magazine aimed at the average woman? In fact, the thing that bothered me the very most is actually the largest heading (sans the title) on the front page. ” A Flat Sexy Stomach in 15 Minutes” Kate Beckinsale’s non-existent tummy yells. Now that’s some serious fat-shaming if I’ve ever seen it.

Those adjectives are not intrinsically linked. Your stomach does not need to be flat to be sexy.

And would it kill the editors to put in an article about good spending habits that doesn’t convince you to immediately blow your new cash on pointless designer products? “Stop getting a Starbucks every day.” Yes, good. “Buy a £260 iPad case instead!” No, no, no. Bad, bad, bad. Women do not need to be goaded into spending money on things they don’t need - there are hundreds of other magazines willing to do that for them. I would like for just one to encourage us to work on solid financial planning instead - Men’s Health can do it, why not you?

Women’s health is, in a word, an improvement on the utter trash we’re forced to look at every day.

Is it as good as its male equivalent? No. But this is the launch issue, in its defence, and I hold out hope that it will move in the right direction.

Until then, I think I’ll stick to getting health tips online and saving myself £3.60.

In My Mind

I listen to this all the time when I'm sad about myself.

Life Detox

For a long time now I've been feeling lethargic - simply unable to get the motivation to do, well, anything. After spending a lot of time last week thinking about my life and why I was so unhappy with it, I realised that I needed a detox.

I've seen a lot of articles about life detoxes, with suggestions for how to change your life to make it perfect, but that's not what I'm aiming for.

I don't want to do a complete re-haul.

I want gradual change, easing myself into a lifestyle that will make me happier and healthier. That way, I feel as though I'll really stick to it (a problem I've always had with these kinds of things).

So I thought about the areas of my life that want change, and how to go about doing that.

Firstly, university.

This should be my first and foremost priority, and yet it seems to get swept back to make room for everything else. I simply haven't been spending enough time actually trying to understand my course material; rather, I've been doing the absolute bare minimum to ensure I pass.

This is easy enough to change. I just need to get up earlier and go into university a couple of hours before my lectures start. Probably the easiest change to make, and yet definitely the most important.

Secondly, health.

I'm not going to suddenly throw out microwave meals and go to the gym every day. (I hate the gym).

But if every time I go shopping, I can switch a few more of my items for healthier options, it won't be long before I've eased myself into a healthier diet with almost no effort.

Besides that, a little research into healthier options. My flatmate is vegan, and so I've asked her if she'll help me do a week of veganism. I'm not giving up meat! But a big part of being vegan is research and planning, so I think a week of that will really help.

Finally in this category, one exercise class a week for now doesn't seem scary at all. I went to Boxercise on Sunday and it was tough but really fun, and I felt the burn for two whole days. Again, to help motivation I've asked a flatmate to keep encouraging me to go.

I hope that this combination of things will help me a lot of other ways too, for instance clearing up my skin and making me less tired despite getting enough sleep (one thing I've never had a problem with!)

Finally, social.

I always felt as though this area of my life was balanced, and I suppose compared to the other two it is. However, I still find it far too easy to say "no" to things that should be fun, and "yes" to things that really aren't good for me. I'll turn down a meal with flatmates for a night out with other friends, when I know full well that I'll be making an absolute idiot of myself on the night out.

Speaking of which: less alcohol is a definite for this detox!

I also spend far, far too much time on social networking sites. I check them constantly and post on them almost as often. Definitely unhealthy.

There are a few other things I need to change too, but these are the three main areas that I want to improve. I don't want this to seem like a huge task I need to do, rather an easy transition.I want to turn motivation into habit.

So that was quite a lot of words.

Here's a list that I've written into my filofax to remind myself of the changes I'd like to make:

• Drink tea without sugar
• Go to an exercise class each week
• Make healthy lunch boxes
• Check facebook and twitter less often
• Have one day a week with no computer access at all
• Walk to and from university more often

I know that this won't happen immediately and sometimes I'll skip a class or I'll put three sugars in my tea or I'll get absolutely smashed and do something stupid, but if there's one thing I want to remind myself of it's that

It's okay to get things wrong.

I'm nineteen. If I can't make mistakes now, when can I?

I've got my whole life to get things right, but I'm hoping that this year is the year I start in that direction.

Onwards and Upwards

After a terrible couple of days filled with shame and regret, I woke up this morning with the phrase "Onwards and Upwards" fully rooted into my head.

Forget what happened, and certainly don't feel shameful about it.

Take it as a learning experience, and move on.

So that's what I'm going to do. My first mid-February resolution is to focus on my university work for a while, because it's been put on the back-burner for a couple of weeks and that's something I definitely need to change.

The second is to put less sugar in my tea. (I tried this just now and it's actually kind of nice!)

I wanted the third to be "Write more" but I'm worried this is a contradiction of resolution one, so that's a maybe resolution.

But if I do get the balance between work and play wrong, the real lesson I need to take from this week is that it doesn't matter. I need to stop beating myself up over mistakes and know that it doesn't make me any worse a person. There's nothing to gain from spending an entire day vilifying yourself for something you can no longer change.

Take a deep breath. It's all okay.